Teenager.

One word, of the world where I must behave like a wood.

Look strong outside but it’s dying inside.

If only I can choose my levels of life, my ages and my dimensions of my existences, I might have chosen straightly to be mature.

Why do I have to get through all of this?

Galau, galau, dan galau. Kayaknya virus si M udah menyerang atmosfer kehidupanku–tapi aku sebenernya ngaku. I maybe looked strong outside, but inside I’m dying.

More than knife that’s cutting my veins. More than the burns from the fire under my feet.

Nope, I’m not crying.

Or… Am I?

Ok, first, untuk semua orang–everyone without any exceptions, yang suka banget en hobi banget nanya “Kamu suka siapa?”

I’ll give you one answer.

Aku nggak suka siapa-siapa, technically. I like cats, horses, actors and else–of course. Oke… Lebih tepatnya, aku emang gasuka siapa-siapa.

Pernah, but it was a long time ago.

Not again. And not this time anymore.

Yang sekarang tinggal, cuma sisa-sisa dari salah satu sifat alami keremajaan manusia–ya itulah namanya. -_-“–yaitu crush, dan masih nempel.

Stick very hard, like as if it’ll never want to go.

Silly right?

Surprisingly, aku nutup mataku, dan you know what? Satu-satunya gambar yang paling jelas dan langsung tampak dalam pikiranku, it’s just him. I maybe can’t like him like I was, everything’s changed. But I just… can’t forget about him. Dia ada di dalem pikiranku, entah pake dukun ato apa, just stay there.

Gambar-gambarnya adalah, dia setiap terakhir kali kuliat. Kayak tadi, aku terakhir kali liat dia di tangga sekolah karena yg SB musik pada nyanyi berjamaah–yang KEREN BANGET, ABISS–dan itulah yang muncul.

Semuanya: his smile, his… charm, his face, everything about him.

Why you’re not getting out of my mind???

It really drives me crazy, boy. How many tear drops I’ve done for you in person. And I’m asking why you? Why you, who gave me hopes, who needed me when you were alone, who… accompanied you when you were packing to somewhere–you were complaining about the bus.

Aku masih inget semua.

Dan sekarang kamu diemin aku, like nothing ever happened? We ended up in angry, because you’ve disappointed me by hurting your own sister, and now what? You’re treating me like a stranger?

I feel suck, y’know.

Will we....?

Why??

Skyscraper – Demi Lovato

Skies are crying, I am watching
Catching tear drops in my hands
Only silence, as it’s ending
Like we never had a chance

Do you have to make me feel like
So there’s nothing left of me?

[Chorus:]
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I’m made of glass
Like I’m made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

[Bridge:]
As the smoke clears, I awaken
And untangle you from me
Would it make you, feel better
To watch me while I bleed?

All my windows still are broken
But I’m standing on my feet

[Chorus:]
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I’m made of glass
Like I’m made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

[Bridge:]
Go run, run, run
I’m gonna stay right here, watch you disappear
Yeah oh
Go run, run, run
Yeah, it’s a long way down
But I am closer to the clouds up here

[Chorus:]
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I’m made of glass
Like I’m made of paper
Oh Oh
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

(Like a skyscraper) huh huh huh

Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

I ALWAYS want to stand up, but like there’s a chain pull me back to the ground. 😥

Miss You So Much

Thanks for the memories you left. You left me bleeding, didn’t know what do I have to say, I said sorry but you were just silent. I always–always–say sorry even though it isn’t my fault. I just feel that I have to say it.

“It has been months. And you haven’t say anything at all. Are you trying to get away from me? Or you’re just trying to be like usual–like nothing ever happened. You never know what it feels. When you said you never care about me. Did you say it without any special forces? Did you say it easily, like you were saying to a statue? I’m NOT a statue. 

I’m a human. A normal girl who still have a heart. Who can feel pain. Who can cry when I’m sad. What’s your reasons? I never understand it. Not at all.”

“You wondered how you’d make it through. I wondered what was wrong with you. Because how could you give your love to someone else, yet share your dreams with me? Sometimes the only thing you’re looking for, is the one thing you can’t see.”

–Vanessa Williams

“Until your heart stops beating I’ll be here” – Jacob, Eclipse

Quotes....

aku emang gapernah say the truth. And we never make any special relationships. But I miss you, at least as friends…

And if there’s someone complain,

“Why you let yourself think about him? It stressed you so much though. There are many things you still have to think about, you have a life. You live on earth–you have many goals to be reached.”

“Yes, I know it. But my life, on the earth, goes around him. As if the earth goes around the sun…”

And Sorry.

If I have disappointed you or make you angry. I will always say sorry if I have to.

— End —

🙂 Je t’aime. ♥

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